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The Complete And Utter Randomness That Is My Life.

Thanks Starbucks, You’re About To Make A Fatter America. March 24, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — lianadickson @ 2:56 am

Some of you may still not have heard this, but if you watched Ellen on Tuesday then you have already seen it.  Starbucks is set to introduce a new cold cup size called “trenta”.  Hold on to your hats and glasses kids, because this new size holds a whopping 30 oz. of liquid.  It’s like the Big Gulp of Starbucks.  I already feel bad when I have to serve someone a venti caramel frappuccino, which they have asked me to try to cram extra whipped cream and caramel sauce onto, but the first few times I have to serve one of these trenta beasts I might vomit a little in my mouth.  Seriously, what is America coming to?  Who needs that much caffeine and sugar?  I have had a couple of customers ask me about the new size, and it took all the power within me to not jump up on the counter and yell from the top of my lungs my manifesto of disgust about the trenta.  Just writing this blog post is making me angry, and a little sick to my stomach.  On a lighter note, here’s a video shot inside my store of one of our regular customers.  Last time he came in I had to kick him out for talking too loudly and being disruptive.  He told me that it was because Bill Gates was inside his brain.  I asked him if Bill Gates was going to be able to keep his voice down.  Yadda, yadda, yadda, he told me I was going to be terminated, yadda, yadda, yadda, I asked him to leave.  Enjoy.


5 Responses to “Thanks Starbucks, You’re About To Make A Fatter America.”

  1. Well then it’s a good thing Bill Gates is not the CEO and therefore can’t terminate you. Also, I didn’t know Bill Gates could hippie dance.

    I agree that IS sick… but at least “trenta” means thirty in English, so I feel good about that.

    I wonder if you can also serve it with a side of Hardee’s Big Country Breakfast?

  2. Maybe they can start serving in these next:

  3. It’s a shame the name “Big Gulp” was already taken.

  4. bobby Says:

    You’re disgusted by the size? Aren’t you the same person who blogged about having 3 Chai Eggnog Lattes on the first day of the season? Just checking. 😉

  5. lianadickson Says:

    Shut it Bobby.

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