I Love My Husband, But Sometimes I Want To Punch Him In The Face. June 18, 2008

I wrote this post while we were on vacation, but never got around to publishing it.  Obviously when I say “Yesterday”, I don’t literally mean yesterday.  Although at the time I wrote it I did.

Yesterday Keith, Ellie and I all went out to San Francisco to go to the Exploratorium.  I used to go there all the time with my dad and I hadn’t been in a long time.  Keith said that the last time he was there he was in 6th grade.  We had a lot of fun, but what drove me crazy was the time we spent in the car.  Keith and I have a GPS which I keep with me at all times and let me tell you why.  I have the worst sense of direction imaginable.  I know that a lot of people think that they have a bad sense of direction, but let me tell you that mine is way worse.  I have gone to the mall and then needed to get gas and ended up in a different city.  Then it took me two hours to get home.  Another time I left a friends house to pick up some dinner and got lost.  That time it took me an hour to find my way back.  It’s incidents like that which made me decide that I needed a GPS.  Since I have gotten her, my “talking lady”  and I have built a strong relationship, and she has gotten me out of several unfamiliar places.  She and I get along very well.  She and Keith however do not get along well at all, which brings me back to my original story.  Keith was driving us to the Exploratorium, and before we took off we programed our destination into the lady.  She told us that it was going to take an hour and a half to get there…wait a minute…my mom’s house is only like 40 minutes from San Francisco…how is that possible?  Oh well, let’s just go with it.  About 30 minutes into our excursion Keith realized that “someone” had programmed our lady to avoid all U-turns and toll roads.  I know it wasn’t me, so I think I know who that “someone” was…Keith.  Because of this, we were going to drive past two bridges that could have gotten us there faster.  Once we got that sorted out we thought we were set, except for the fact that Keith was not listening to the lady.  She would say to turn right in .5 miles and he would turn right then.  This happened probably three times, and everytime he did it she would say “recalculating”, and Keith would yell “WHAT!”, and I would just shake my head and look at him and explain that he wasn’t listening to the lady.  All this ended up making our trip the originally forcasted hour and a half, even though we changed our route to try to make it shorter.  By the time we got there Keith of course had to go to the bathroom really bad.  So I told him to go in the bushes by the car.  Probably not the best idea, but whatever.  On the way home Keith continued to disobey my talking lady’s requests.  At one point I actually thought about asking him to pull over so that I could drive because she and I have a special connection and I knew that I would understand her.  Oh, and by the way, while Keith was getting us lost on the way home he kept releasing his gas (yes his own, not the car’s) and saying “I faaated”.  That’s “I farted” with a New York accent.  Lovely.  That was the real reason why I wanted to punch him in the face.

We’re Baaaaaaaack! June 18, 2008

It took us 10 hours, but we are finally back home.  I just couldn’t bring myself to post while we were on vacation, so the compulsive blogging will resume tomorrow.  Thanks to all the friends and family that made our trip a blast.

7 Hours Later, We Are Finally Here! June 4, 2008

Well, we are finally at my mom’s house.  We actually made pretty good time considering that we had to stop about a dozen times due to my husband’s tiny bladder.  We managed to make it 500 miles without getting pulled over or running into anything, which is pretty good considering the luck I’ve had with driving lately.  And Ellie only threw one tiny tantrum which was put to an end very quickly.  Now the real fun begins.  We get to try and squeeze seeing every Northern California person we know into 5 days.  We wouldn’t do it if we didn’t want to, so let the visiting begin.  Tomorrow it’s off to lunch with Keith’s cousin and maybe a little shopping.  Who knows what the evening will hold.

I Can’t Find The Other Flippy And It’s Driving Me Freaking Nuts! June 3, 2008

My child has a sick obsession with shoes.  Not just her shoes but everyones shoes.  We could be at someone’s house and she will stop what she’s doing, go over and point to their shoes, and yell “CHOOOO!” (that’s shoe) as loud as she can and with a look on her face like they are the most magical things in the world.  Going to buy shoes with her is quite an experience because if you’ve heard the term “like a kid in a candy store”, well Ellie’s “candy” store is a shoe store.  She will pull shoes off the rack yelling “CHOOO, CHOOO!”  She also likes to go into her room and pull her shoes off her shelf and walk around with them like they are toys.  Well, today I was trying to pack her up for our vacation and was picking out her shoes, and there was a problem…one of her flippies is missing.  I looked everywhere, wandering around the house repeating “Where’s the flippy, where’s the flippy?”  I even got down on the floor and held the thing in front of Ellie’s face and said, “Eleanor honey, where is your flippy?  Show Mama where you put the flippy”.  And her response was to look at the flippy that I was holding, point to it and say “CHOOO”.  Uh, I give up.  She’s probably hiding it in her bed so that she can play with it if she wakes up in the middle of the night.

Only One More Day! June 2, 2008

At the urging of my boss I have decided to take a 2-week vacation that will officially begin in one more day!  Now don’t get too jealous, it’s not like Keith and I are going to some tropical resort with no baby.  Instead we are going to visit our families in Northern California.  Which if you think about it could be even better than going away somewhere.  We have a place to stay for free for two weeks, our families will probably fight us to get to buy us meals, they will spoil our child rotten, and there are more eyes to watch little Ellie-bean so Keith and I will be able to relax.  It’s kinda great.  Plus we get to visit with our family of course.  I’m not sure if there will be much blogging while we are gone unless I decide to take our parents computers hostage.  We’ll see.  So since we will be around, if there are any Nor Cal friends who want to hang out while we are in town give me a call.  I’d love to catch up. 

Momma Means Everything…Everything Except For Me. June 1, 2008

Ellie knows lots of words.  At least I think she knows lots of words.  Whenever we see dogs, or cats, or cows, or ducks, etc. she shouts out what they are.  When she sees the picture of her friends Drew and Jack on our fridge she points to it and says “Dooo, Dack”.  She carries around her shoes yelling “Choo”.  However. if you ask her who I am she either says nothing or she says “Dada”.  It’s not that she doesn’t know the word Mama, because I know she does.  She points to lots of things and says “Mama”, and then I correct her.  It usually goes something like this:

Ellie pointing:  ”Mama”.

Me:  ”No baby, that’s a bear”.

OR

Ellie pointing:  ”Mama”.

Me:  ”No honey, that’s a car”.

OR

Ellie pointing:  ”Mama”.

Me:  ”No baby, that’s asian cole slaw”.

I don’t get it.  She knows Dada that’s for sure.  She just looooooooves her dada.  If you ask her where he is she could probably find him across a crowded room.  However, I could be holding her and if you ask her where mama is she would probably point at some fishy crackers or a homeless woman down the street.  I don’t get it.  There are a few times that she actually calls me Mama, but it’s only when she wants some food or a toy.  So I guess in reference to me “Mama” means “getter of things that I want”.